Attitude as a Choice- I am responsible for my own attitude. My spouse may treat me unkindly or ignore me, but I am still responsible for choosing my thoughts. Love always seeks the well being of the other person. When you choose the attitude of love, you are asking yourself: What is best for my spouse in this situation? That always means holding your spouse accountable for unacceptable behavior.
Outside Help-Trouble is inevitable, but misery is optional. Attitude has to do with the way I choose to think about things. Maintaining a positive attitude in a troubled marriage may seem impossible, but the Christian has outside help. "Lord, help me to see my marriage the way you see it. Help me to view my spouse the way you view them. Help me to think the thoughts that you have toward them." This kind of praying will lead you to a positive attitude.
The High Road-A positive attitude can be the salvation of a difficult situation. We must not yield to our natural tendencies. We must seek to walk the high road of looking for God’s hand in everything. Even in a troubled marital situation, God is always at work.
Scripture's Challenge for You-The challenge of keeping a positive attitude is not a new idea. It is found clearly in the first-century writing of Paul the apostle. He wrote: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds. ...Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, or admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.” Phil. 4:4-7.
What's Your Attitude? -One reason my attitudes are so important is that they affect my actions: that is my behavior and words. If I have a pessimistic, defeatist, negative attitude it will be expressed in negative words and behavior. The reality is that I may not be able to control my environment: sickness, alcoholic spouse, mother who abandoned me, spouse who is irresponsible, aging parents, etc. But I am responsible for what I do within my environment.
If you want to know your attitude, look at your words and behavior. And, your behavior greatly influences your spouse.
Excerpt taken from Loving Solutions: Overcoming Barriers in Your Marriage by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Gary Chapman's resources, visit http://moodypublishers.c.topica.com/maaiXpCabDdSdbK0xUfcafpRrd/.